It’s amazing what a little sun light and blue skies can do for the soul.
This winter has been hard.
With every snowflake that has fallen, my entire being has itched with anxiety. Being cooped up has not been my favorite. In a perfect world I probably could have used my cabin fever energy to work on sewing projects and crafting projects and writing projects. But instead I felt myself completely depleted. Trying to keep up with 30 minute potty training breaks and entertaining an 8 month old who has discovered “her voice” to say the least has worn me ragged.
But in the midst of the tantrums (from me and the little ones), the diaper changes, and the laundry–oh the laundry–I’ve found joy. And gratitude.
Because I have an incredible God who loves me and covers me in his grace.
I have an amazing husband who, even though his cabin fever has been just as bad, has helped me calm down when I’m about to break down; who has let me throw up my anxious thoughts when I wanted to throw up my hands; and who has wrapped his arms around me when I couldn’t wrap my brain around which way was up.
I have beautiful friends who pray their hearts out on my behalf when I send those tear-filled text messages their way.
I have two beautiful children who show me God’s hand with every blink of their eyes and every giggle from their sweet lips.
It’s been a trying time for all of us and it still is. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I doubted God at times in the midst of it. But when circumstances are crashing around me and there aren’t enough tissues to wipe my eyes, I can make a choice. I can either accept God’s will halfheartedly or I can embrace it fully. Anyone can accept something, but it takes something from deep within to truly embrace it. To let it permeate the soul.
So my choice is to embrace what He has laid before me and to fill my heart and mind with thankfulness because he has given me so much.